Moving on after loss


People often wonder how they can move on after something as traumatic as a bereavement. It's a sad fact that we are learning how to cope with loss right from the moment we are born. We may lose pets as children, then later grandparents, parents, friends, etc. Even losing a job, home or marriage can trigger a grieving process.

The key word in the above paragraph is 'process'. To work through grief takes time - you can't simply shut it down and fold it away in a drawer after two weeks and return to 'normal' - even if that's what society expects. Grief has to be worked through.

How do we work through grief? One of the most important things to do is to face up to your grief, and experience it. Often we put most of our energy into shutting down our feelings, trying to push them away and pretend that we're 'fine'. So, just the act of getting in touch with how you really feel, and experiencing those emotions whatever they may be, can be a huge release.

Another thing to do is to keep talking about what happened, keep talking about the loss, go over the story, incorporate it into your life. This will help you to face the reality of the situation, and to accept what has happened. 

It can be difficult to find the time, the space, and the right person to talk with about these feelings. Friends and family may be at a loss as to what to say to you, and you might be afraid of hurting them. 

Once you get in touch with your emotions, guilt, anger, and other difficult feelings may come up. That's where talking to a counsellor can help. Counselling can give you a safe space, where you can explore your emotions, however difficult they are, and know that what you say is in confidence and will be received with empathy. If you'd like to talk to me about a course of counselling you can phone, email, or fill out the form on the contact page of this website.    

Uncommon Knowledge, providers of high quality hypnotherapy downloads, have a resource called 'Dealing With Grief' - it can help you gently find a healthy way to grieve, and to start the process of moving on.



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